It is necessary for every person to speak to everyone with good respect, whether they are older or younger. Before saying anything hurtful to someone, one should think carefully about what they are saying and whether it might hurt that person’s heart. Remember, if you hurt someone’s heart and do not sincerely ask their forgiveness, Allah will not forgive you until you sincerely seek forgiveness from that

Choosing Kind Words

The best way is to use kind and good words—words that truly make the listener happy. Life brings challenges, but losing control over yourself in anger and saying anything dangerous can cause harm. Always use good words, spread love and kindness, and respond to everyone calmly. Some benefits of speaking with good words and kindness are:

• The person you talk to feels connected to you, and Allah becomes pleased with you.
• Your heart finds inner peace, and the person you speak to develops love for you.
• If you are a teacher, never look down on any student; treat them appropriately—this creates love for you in the students’ hearts.
• A patient and forgiving person is always successful.

Avoiding Harsh Language

The second and most important point—one that is completely against Shariah and good character—is the use of harsh and bad words. Hurting someone through speech, insulting them, or looking down on them is something Allah strongly dislikes. Allah Himself has created every human being and has given everyone equal status; He has not declared anyone inferior. If one person has a higher rank than another, it is only on the basis of taqwa (piety).

In our society, it has unfortunately become very common to consider the wealthy as superior, while the poor are treated as insignificant. Even though we all know that wealth, money, status, and fame will not go with us to the grave—everything will remain here. We have been commanded to earn only as much as is needed to fulfill our necessities, not so much that arrogance enters our hearts and we start abusing those who have less wealth or playing with their emotions.

Speaking at The Right Time

The third and very important point is understanding when to respond, when to speak, and when to remain silent. These are the things that show whether a person is wise or not. Allah has given intellect to all of us; saying that someone has no brain is completely wrong. Allah has given us the ability to use our intellect, and He tests us to see whether we use it properly or simply act on whatever comes into our hearts. Below are some important points that explain when to speak in a gathering and when not to:

• Always speak only when the discussion is relevant to the topic; otherwise, remain silent and listen carefully.
• Remain respectfully silent in front of parents, teachers, and all elders.
• If someone speaks wrongly about you personally, respond politely.
• Avoid speaking excessively, as too much talking weakens the heart.

Silence as Wisdom

The final and most important point is remaining silent, which is a person’s greatest strength. Silence is such a powerful quality that it can make even a defeated person victorious. In society, there are all kinds of people; everyone has a different temperament. It is not necessary to respond to every person. Even if someone insults you, it is not compulsory to reply.

We see many examples in society where people kept working silently, ignored useless and unnecessary talk, and eventually became successful. If we start responding to every meaningless and pointless comment, we will become stuck in the same cycle and waste our energy there.

Allah Almighty has also commanded us to remain silent at times. If someone speaks uselessly about you personally, forgive them for the sake of Allah. Responding and arguing often lowers a person’s status more than remaining silent. And if a response is necessary, it should be given with great gentleness and love.

May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to act upon this. Ameen.