When Allah sent humans into this world, He did not send them alone or isolated. He placed them in a family, in which parents, sisters, brothers, and other relatives are included. We should remember that human life has a purpose, and that purpose is connected not only with Allah but also with the people around us. Some are older than us, some are younger, and Allah has set our matters with them and explained how life should be lived.

That is why today we will talk about how we should deal with people who are older than us in age, whether they are parents, sisters, brothers, relatives, or other people. How we should give them respect, how we should behave with them, how to protect ourselves from their displeasure and anger, and how, by serving them, we can achieve success in this world and the hereafter.

Speaking Softly With Elders

The first and most important method from the manners with elders is this: we should speak to everyone with softness, meaning gently and politely. This is not a very difficult thing that someone cannot understand. With everyone who is older than us—whether parents, sisters, brothers, relatives, or others—we should speak with gentleness. Allah has not given us the right to raise our voice equal to theirs. If our voice and tone become the same as theirs, then the difference between our age and theirs will end.

We should think for a moment about how much effort our parents put into raising us and making us grow. In this world, parents have such a relationship that loves you without any greed and dedicates everything for you. And when we grow up, what kind of behavior do we show towards them—this is known to us. About this matter, we have already written in detail in this post:https://noorulilmonlinequranacademy.com/islamic-manners-akhlaq/

That is why we should all remember that if an elder says something to us, it is not a problem; there will be goodness for us in it. Nowadays, youths like us have forgotten how to speak with elders. We reply immediately, thinking that if we stay silent, our ego will be hurt or that we will look weak—this is not true at all. All of this is whispering of Shaytan; he wants this from a person. May Allah grant us the ability to speak kindly with our elders. Ameen.

Helping Without Being Asked

The second important manner from the etiquette of elders is this: we should help them in every task, without them having to say it and without needing to ask again and again. Just think for a moment—when we were children, our parents did everything for us without being told. They loved us and spent money, effort, even their lives for us; this is their love. In the same way, whether they are our parents or other elders, we should help them out of love, assist them in every task, and speak to them nicely.

We should not put unnecessary burden on them or make needless demands. Whenever they say something, we should listen carefully and then do that work. Nowadays, in the era of social media, every person considers himself very clever and sharp, but we keep forgetting that one day we have to return to Allah. That is why considering elders foolish or ignorant by saying “I have grown up, I know everything” is wrong.

When parents become ill and need us, we should support them without them asking. Besides this, if anyone in the family or among siblings faces any difficulty, we should support them before they even ask and stand by them. InshaAllah, if we do this, Allah Almighty will grant us success in this world as well and in the Hereafter too.

Giving Priority to Elders

The third and most important aspect of the etiquette of elders is this: in any matter, any work, and at any place, we should give priority to those who are older than us. This is one of the greatest manners, whether from a religious point of view or worldly matters—always give priority to elders. A person can only learn to live life properly when they understand what sacrifice is, what manners are, and how to compromise with people.

If an elderly person is older than us and is traveling with us in public transport, then standing up from our seat and asking them to sit is their right. This brings good character within us, and Allah gives great reward. If there is a matter of making a decision, we should give priority to the elder person to decide, because they have more experience and knowledge than us.

If an elder asks us to do any work, we should try to listen to them, even leaving our own busyness, and give them priority. Besides this, in other matters of life as well, we should give priority to elders over ourselves. InshaAllah, Allah will surely give us its reward and grant us success in this world and in the Hereafter as well.

Making Dua For Elders

The last and one more important manner of our elders is to make dua for them. Look, we all know that our elders—parents, sisters, and brothers—raise us from childhood to adulthood with great love and care, like a soft flower. They love us, and they have no expectations from us for anything; it is only their love that never stops caring for us. No matter how bad a person may be, he changes himself for his children, thinking that the weaknesses inside him should not come into his children.

So when we grow up, we should become a support for our elders. If they are ill, we should take care of them, pray for them, and if our parents have passed away from this world before us, then we should make dua for their forgiveness every day. Elders do not have greed for anything from the younger ones, but we should have the desire for reward and recompense by fulfilling the rights of elders—InshaAllah, there will be great benefit.

When an elder advises us, we should surely accept it, and when they ask us to pray for them, we should do so happily. May Allah grant us the ability to serve our elders and observe their respect. Ameen.